There’s this thing about being a big brother. You can’t be selfish no
matter how much happiness of yours is being sacrificed. That’s what I see when
I watch Dean Winchester. He’s the best son and big brother you’ll ever wished
for. He is a good soldier for his dad even though he’s forced into it. He is
practically raising his brother, Sam since a baby. He already has a job since
he’s just four-year-old boy which is making sure Sam has everything he needs.
He is carrying the biggest burden in the family. Keeping his little brother
safe, backing up for daddy and be a wall between them when Sam and his Dad are
fighting so they won’t hit each other. Dean is clever despite what other people
think about him. Because he can raise Sam to be a smart person that he can get
accepted in Stanford with full ride scholarship. Sam wouldn’t be that smart if
Dean isn’t helping him in the background. Dean is just playing dumb to try to
lighten the mood. Not everyone’s mood, but himself. Because who else will
humoring him except of himself?
He always do everything to make sure Sam live the life he deserves. Like
in season 3 episode 8, he keep Sam out in the dark from the supernatural world
until he’s finally too smart not to notice the weird things that happens in the
family. He even tries to make Sam think their dad is home and steal a gift for
Sam when he clearly know the fact that he is out hunting and leave him to take
care of his brother in the hotel without the help of an adults to watch them.
Dean is considered an adult at 12 years old and already sleep with a gun under
his pillow while Sam still wondering why. Dean is Sam’s mom and Dad, and a
support-slash-back up for his dad. His life is dedicated to hunting and
protecting Sam that he doesn’t have time to experience the normal things. His
dedicated life makes hunting become the reason he’s still alive and protecting
his brother become the meaning of his life even until he’s an adult. He can’t
think of being a normal guy and would leave normalcy anytime for his brother.
Take the sixth season for example. He finally can get out of his hunter life
and live normally with Lisa and Ben, but when Sam come back to the picture Dean
volunteered to go back to hunting because his brother is in it. Even Bobby
supported his decision to live normal, but baby Sam decided that he wants his
brother by his side so he asked Dean to give up on his family. Of course, Dean
being the best big brother ever agreed to Sam’s request without looking back to
Lisa and Ben’s request. His brother is his first priority, that’s why he will
gladly lose everything he has to make sure Sam get what he wants.
This dumb and I-don-care attitude of Dean is his high wall protecting
himself from getting hurt. When you don’t care about other people, they can’t
hurt you. When you’re not smart enough, people will leave you alone. When
you’re funny, you can hide a lot of things. Silliness is a big distraction to
people’s emotion. You can hide your sadness behind your laughs and smiles, and
make people forget their sadness with the joke. That’s why Dean hate the
chick-flick moment. Because he already build a very high wall that you can’t
penetrate easily, but still… that doesn’t mean he is immune to every emotion.
He can survive a long time without crying but there is always a doubt if he
can’t resist it this present time. His dam of tears are like a ticking bomb. It
can explode anytime because he doesn’t use it for a long time. And to prevent
the waterfall to stream down his cheeks, he has to keep himself away from sad
things. That includes the chick-flick moment. He is afraid, so afraid that the
sentimental moment will make him want to shed tears, and tears are a sign of
weakness. He can’t be weak. He has a big job of protecting his brother from
every threat, no weakness is needed. He has to be as hard as steel to be his
brother’s armor, even though he has to pretend to has an ice heart in the
process. If heartless is what it takes to keep Sam alive, he will do it
forever.
Dean always has his dad’s back no matter how bad of a dad John is. I
think it’s kinda expected for a kid to look up at their parents that way, plus
he’s the only surviving parents that Dean got. He’s just too small when he lost
his mother he wished to never experience that kind of lost again, so he does
everything in his power to try to help his dad from being killed. Even though
his dad is throwing himself into the dangerous world of supernatural, train him
to be able to take care of Sam and at the same time forced him to be skilled in
using various weapons, Dean still adores him. He still defend him in front of
Sam even though he’s the one who has been neglected the most.
I think Sam is a whining little brother who has been spoiled too much by
Dean. He get annoyed and left home when he can’t take life as a hunter anymore
and not looking at Dean who has been a hunter for all his life because of him.
If Sam is not the one chosen by the Yellow-Eyed-Demon then Dean’s life will be
normal. But Dean didn’t blame Sam for it. Dean is smart enough to know it is
not Sam’s fault that their dad is now obsessed with hunting demons and also not
blame their dad for making his living in more danger that everyone else. Sam
used to get everything he wants so when he wants to get out of hunting’s life,
he will get out without caring about Dean’s feeling or their dad’s wrath that
surely will be thrown on Dean for backing up Sam’s choice. And in season eight
Sam did that again. Sam decides that since his brother is gone so he can stop
hunting and doesn’t have to find Dean. Maybe Sam thinks it’s the perfect chance
to start fresh and forget hunting even though that means forget his big brother
or wherever the hell he is. No, Sam doesn’t have to help Dean out because it’s
big brother’s job to protect his little brother but not the little brother’s
job to protect the big brother. Sam is leaving Dean stranded in the middle of
nowhere where he’s happy playing normal life with himself. And he forget the
big responsibility that he has. Kevin. And Dean who is being used to look out
for his sibling points out how Kevin is their responsibility. I guess this is
Dean’s new lesson for Sam, be the big sibling and learn to have a
responsibility. Try not to be blinded by your surrounding and focus on your
responsibility at your hands, don’t let it slip out of your fingers because it
is something that you have to guard with your life. I guess since Sam doesn’t
have a little sibling so he doesn’t know what it’s like to have responsibility
over someone. The fact that Sam is the youngest make him think only for
himself. Because Dean never let him worry about Dean or his dad, it makes Sam a
selfish and spoiled brat.
I keep admiring Dean in his youth life. He’s so strong and responsible with
the bonus of charming. He didn’t whine like Sam when they moved to another
place for the third time like in season four episode thirteen. He make sure Sam
get everything he need before school and tried to cheer Sam up when he’s
whining so much about school. Dean tries to act cool, look at the positive side
of everything, and most importantly, accept his fate. He knows he won’t be long
in the school so he doesn’t bring school book. But I guess the real reason is
because he tried to deny that he cares about school. Because his life require
him to move a lot so he knows he will be hopeless with school anyway that he
stops caring about anything school related. He just have to focus on hunting
and watch Sam while in school. And in season nine episode seven, again Dean showed how great Dean is
as a brother. He stole so Sam can eat, resulting him to almost get in jail that
even his dad said just let him rot in jail. But Dean felt like he deserved it
so he got along with it and live in Sonny’s house. Never even crossed his mind
that he shouldn’t be left only with Sam in an unknown hotel in the first place.
And turns out it was the best time of Dean’s life instead of hell like what his
dad expected. He get to live a normal life without have to worrying about his brother’s
well-being, his dad’s hunting job or watching his back all the time. Even
though it’s not for long, because Dean being Dean will always choose Sam’s
well-being over his happiness. He knew he will get out of hunter’s life if he
stays at Sonny’s but he didn’t because Sam depends on him. He can’t be selfish
and he won’t be selfish just because he wants his happiness. That’s just how
Dean is.
The thing about Dean is, he’s losing hope since a long time ago. That’s
why he doesn’t believe in God. That’s why he’s accepting his fate, because he
has learned some time when he’s still so young that this is what he will be,
nothing in the world can stop it, not even God. That’s why he chooses Sam over
himself, sacrificing his life and happiness for his little brother because Dean
is the one who start the hope in Sam’s heart, lit it up and make it big so Sam
will life with that hope everyday. He never blow that hope and that’s why Sam
still believe in God, still go to school and get good grades because he believe
they will have a normal life someday, while Dean accept that his life will
never be normal, not a chance. In some way, Sam is his way of feeling the
normalcy. By letting Sam do as his please, let him has a lot of normalcy in his
life is one of his ways of fixing himself. If he can’t have a normal life, at
least helping other person have that normalcy will feel like he’s representing
him…
He is how a big brother should be...
