Dark Thoughts

In life, you only need money and time. With money, you can buy everything, even happiness. When your source of happiness is a book, you’ll need money to buy them. When you like to go traveling around the world, you need money for the necessities on the way. With time, you can have fun as long as you want. Fun you can buy. Happiness, friends, love can be arranged if you have the money and time.

You don’t need friend, not exactly. Every human in the world mean to live alone with themselves. Family, friends, enemies, they’ll come and goes in your life. They just passing through your lifetime and then one day you’ll never cross path with them ever again. You won’t live forever with them, they won’t be by your side forever. 

People are meant to take advantage of each other. Whether it was friends or enemies or families, they take advantage of you. Family take advantage of your existence to make them feel save and think they’re not alone in this world. Friends take advantage of every little thing that you have. Time, money, even your brain and strength. They’ll squeeze out all your abilities until they’re bored or don’t have to endure any time with you anymore. And enemies, well, they’re the easiest to read. They didn’t exactly hides their purpose unlike the others. They simply make your existence as their entertainment, or maybe their purpose to keep living in this world. Neither of it has a good outcome.

So you need money. It will take you to the journey of life. You can learn how to life with money. That’s when you paid your school fee. Or you can be whatever you want with money. A pretty girl, a charming guy or different kind of you everyday, change who you are over and over again. Life is so easy when you have the money. At least you have one less thing to worry about when you have enough money. 

You can buy friend with your money. You can buy the fake one and be the real you—which I know is a bitch, everyone is a bitch—or you can buy the real one with the fake you. And let me tell you something. Even if you want to fake yourself, you need money. To impress someone we have to be someone else, and it takes money to provide us to become someone else. It’s the same thing with family, and even easier with the enemy. Just by the fact that you have a lot of money will bring a lot of enemy. Heck, even the poorest thing in the world have an enemy.

Not just the money though, you also need time. Time for you to life, to have fun and spend your money. Even if you have all the money in the world but have no time, it’s all will be worthless. How are you supposed to spend all your money if you’re busy at the office 24/7? Time is a really important thing in your life and to accompany the purpose of money. And sadly money can’t buy life. Well, they can slow it down, but that’s as far as it can goes.

Time can make money, but money can’t buy time. So how are you gonna get them both? That’s something I’m still looking for. Money is limitless, but time is limited. You just need to set your priority right. If asked what you can live without, you can’t life without money. It’s the primary source for you to get everything you need in life. Food, house, clothes, friends, even family. But you can’t also life without time even though you have all the money in the world. So between time and money, there should be a balance. Don’t waste too much of your time and don’t waste too much money because then you’ll feel something’s off with your life.

Let it go

“You’re lucky, you have someone who protect your feeling. I guess good things come to the good people. You always help everyone. You always care about everyone equally, no matter how bad they are. You always see the good in people. I guess that’s what I hate about you. You can see the good in me when everyone else see anything but good, when even I thought I was nothing but bad. That’s why everyone loves you. You’re great to be around, always bring positive to people around you. That makes me hate you more. I envy you. Why do I always think the worst about every people around me? Why do I always think badly even to myself?”

“That’s because of your past. Your insecurity, your skepticism, those are because your past isn’t like hers. She has a stable life since she was a kid. A loving mom, a caring father and friends who always accept her for who she is. You have this negative thinking for everyone you meet because that’s how your self-defense work to help you not to suffer more in case something bad happen to you. You assess people before letting them in to your life, weighing the pros and cons of what’s to lose in case they are just gone without your notice. You’re just protecting yourself, that’s what you’ve been doing all this time because unlike her, you only have yourself to pick up the pieces of your heart if someone shatters it. Yes, you hurt people, but that’s because you don’t have anyone to help you deal with the pain you’ve been feeling, so you handle it with your own way. By distracting yourself from sad and grief through rage. You hate her because you think she has anything you wished for. But for once, look at you. Look past all the bad things you think that’s so horrible and start to see the good in you. You’re smart despite your failing grade, because you can never plan a scheme for all your enemy if you aren’t. You just focusing your brilliant brain on the wrong thing. You’re pretty, you can have every friend you want if you want to turn down your bitchiness for a bit. Everyone will see the good in you once you can see the good in yourself. Just let go of that grudge you have over your past. Start fresh, think only about your future because your past is just that… your past. It’s not worth it to hold on to your rage or vengeance because let’s face it, it never bring you peace, is it? Just start over. Let all the past go, and make a new identity for yourself. Unleash the good that’s been hidden beneath that ice exterior you have all this time….”