Being the first born means that you have all that responsibility for everything around you. You are a successor for your parents. Everyone in your circle will highly expect great things done by you. Being a successor means you will have to think about your family's well being in place of the parents. This, resulting in having to give everything you have and thinking nothing for yourself.
Unlike the second born and beyond, you have no choice to say no. They expect you to always says yes to things related to decision about what you should do to ensure everyone's well being is taken care of. Every decision you made revolves around whether it would impact on their future and happiness, despite the ignorance of one self. The second born and onward will have more chance to voice their own choice, they will be able to think of themselves among the expectations. The expectation they have is second handed, so it's not come as strong as it should have. They will be freer to make their own decision based on their favourite things instead of the impact it will have on the well being of the others. If they find any obstacles, all they had to do is ask the successor for help and everything will be taken care of. They will be able to do a lot of risks at a chance to grow up, where the first born will have to grow up without having to burden those around her. First born already drilled from a young age that everyone is your responsibility that you never have time to think about what you want to do to yourself. So when there's time where everyone finally growing up and all you have to do is just supervise and make sure they don't stray from the path they choose, first born finally have more free time than they remember.
The problem lies there. With more free time and nothing to do with it, first born will look lost. Having always have something to think about beside yourself and make sure everything goes well have its own downfall when you no longer required to do so full time, 24/7. You don't know what to do with your freedom. You were never have such things since young age, so you never know what to make off of that will. You never know what you want to do to yourself without thinking where the decision will lead the rest to. And when the rest are comfortable with their own path even when it means parting with the others, you are left in the junction yourself. No matter which choice you take, it will no longer affect the circle. That's weird, having that kind of freedom to choose. You don't know and not sure which decision to make when it concerns yourself and only your well being. You're not even sure that this is what you wanted. You never want anything because you never learn to want anything for yourself. The time in he past you were too occupied to think of what you want to do with your privilege, the privilege that second born onwards have ever since they know how to make their own decision.
So when the rest are walking comfortably in their own path, in their own pace, you are pacing restlessly in the same junction they left you, hoping they would come back in case something goes wrong on the path they choose. You will eventually build a house in the very same spot you were left in case you need to catch them and show them your kind of comfort, one they familiar with since their young age when they thought they shouldn't go their own way. In the end of the day, you wished they will never go their separate ways. Because all you did and all you do up until this very moment always revolved around them. Your world revolves around them.
Unlike the second born and beyond, you have no choice to say no. They expect you to always says yes to things related to decision about what you should do to ensure everyone's well being is taken care of. Every decision you made revolves around whether it would impact on their future and happiness, despite the ignorance of one self. The second born and onward will have more chance to voice their own choice, they will be able to think of themselves among the expectations. The expectation they have is second handed, so it's not come as strong as it should have. They will be freer to make their own decision based on their favourite things instead of the impact it will have on the well being of the others. If they find any obstacles, all they had to do is ask the successor for help and everything will be taken care of. They will be able to do a lot of risks at a chance to grow up, where the first born will have to grow up without having to burden those around her. First born already drilled from a young age that everyone is your responsibility that you never have time to think about what you want to do to yourself. So when there's time where everyone finally growing up and all you have to do is just supervise and make sure they don't stray from the path they choose, first born finally have more free time than they remember.
The problem lies there. With more free time and nothing to do with it, first born will look lost. Having always have something to think about beside yourself and make sure everything goes well have its own downfall when you no longer required to do so full time, 24/7. You don't know what to do with your freedom. You were never have such things since young age, so you never know what to make off of that will. You never know what you want to do to yourself without thinking where the decision will lead the rest to. And when the rest are comfortable with their own path even when it means parting with the others, you are left in the junction yourself. No matter which choice you take, it will no longer affect the circle. That's weird, having that kind of freedom to choose. You don't know and not sure which decision to make when it concerns yourself and only your well being. You're not even sure that this is what you wanted. You never want anything because you never learn to want anything for yourself. The time in he past you were too occupied to think of what you want to do with your privilege, the privilege that second born onwards have ever since they know how to make their own decision.
So when the rest are walking comfortably in their own path, in their own pace, you are pacing restlessly in the same junction they left you, hoping they would come back in case something goes wrong on the path they choose. You will eventually build a house in the very same spot you were left in case you need to catch them and show them your kind of comfort, one they familiar with since their young age when they thought they shouldn't go their own way. In the end of the day, you wished they will never go their separate ways. Because all you did and all you do up until this very moment always revolved around them. Your world revolves around them.
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