Let it go

“You’re lucky, you have someone who protect your feeling. I guess good things come to the good people. You always help everyone. You always care about everyone equally, no matter how bad they are. You always see the good in people. I guess that’s what I hate about you. You can see the good in me when everyone else see anything but good, when even I thought I was nothing but bad. That’s why everyone loves you. You’re great to be around, always bring positive to people around you. That makes me hate you more. I envy you. Why do I always think the worst about every people around me? Why do I always think badly even to myself?”

“That’s because of your past. Your insecurity, your skepticism, those are because your past isn’t like hers. She has a stable life since she was a kid. A loving mom, a caring father and friends who always accept her for who she is. You have this negative thinking for everyone you meet because that’s how your self-defense work to help you not to suffer more in case something bad happen to you. You assess people before letting them in to your life, weighing the pros and cons of what’s to lose in case they are just gone without your notice. You’re just protecting yourself, that’s what you’ve been doing all this time because unlike her, you only have yourself to pick up the pieces of your heart if someone shatters it. Yes, you hurt people, but that’s because you don’t have anyone to help you deal with the pain you’ve been feeling, so you handle it with your own way. By distracting yourself from sad and grief through rage. You hate her because you think she has anything you wished for. But for once, look at you. Look past all the bad things you think that’s so horrible and start to see the good in you. You’re smart despite your failing grade, because you can never plan a scheme for all your enemy if you aren’t. You just focusing your brilliant brain on the wrong thing. You’re pretty, you can have every friend you want if you want to turn down your bitchiness for a bit. Everyone will see the good in you once you can see the good in yourself. Just let go of that grudge you have over your past. Start fresh, think only about your future because your past is just that… your past. It’s not worth it to hold on to your rage or vengeance because let’s face it, it never bring you peace, is it? Just start over. Let all the past go, and make a new identity for yourself. Unleash the good that’s been hidden beneath that ice exterior you have all this time….”