There’s this thing about being a big brother. You can’t be selfish no matter how much happiness of yours is being sacrificed. That’s what I see when I watch Dean Winchester. He’s the best son and big brother you’ll ever wished for. He is a good soldier for his dad even though he’s forced into it. He is practically raising his brother, Sam since a baby. He already has a job since he’s just four-year-old boy which is making sure Sam has everything he needs. He is carrying the biggest burden in the family. Keeping his little brother safe, backing up for daddy and be a wall between them when Sam and his Dad are fighting so they won’t hit each other. Dean is clever despite what other people think about him. Because he can raise Sam to be a smart person that he can get accepted in Stanford with full ride scholarship. Sam wouldn’t be that smart if Dean isn’t helping him in the background. Dean is just playing dumb to try to lighten the mood. Not everyone’s mood, but himself. Because who else will humoring him except of himself?
He always do everything to make sure Sam live the life he deserves. Like in season 3 episode 8, he keep Sam out in the dark from the supernatural world until he’s finally too smart not to notice the weird things that happens in the family. He even tries to make Sam think their dad is home and steal a gift for Sam when he clearly know the fact that he is out hunting and leave him to take care of his brother in the hotel without the help of an adults to watch them. Dean is considered an adult at 12 years old and already sleep with a gun under his pillow while Sam still wondering why. Dean is Sam’s mom and Dad, and a support-slash-back up for his dad. His life is dedicated to hunting and protecting Sam that he doesn’t have time to experience the normal things. His dedicated life makes hunting become the reason he’s still alive and protecting his brother become the meaning of his life even until he’s an adult. He can’t think of being a normal guy and would leave normalcy anytime for his brother. Take the sixth season for example. He finally can get out of his hunter life and live normally with Lisa and Ben, but when Sam come back to the picture Dean volunteered to go back to hunting because his brother is in it. Even Bobby supported his decision to live normal, but baby Sam decided that he wants his brother by his side so he asked Dean to give up on his family. Of course, Dean being the best big brother ever agreed to Sam’s request without looking back to Lisa and Ben’s request. His brother is his first priority, that’s why he will gladly lose everything he has to make sure Sam get what he wants.
This dumb and I-don-care attitude of Dean is his high wall protecting himself from getting hurt. When you don’t care about other people, they can’t hurt you. When you’re not smart enough, people will leave you alone. When you’re funny, you can hide a lot of things. Silliness is a big distraction to people’s emotion. You can hide your sadness behind your laughs and smiles, and make people forget their sadness with the joke. That’s why Dean hate the chick-flick moment. Because he already build a very high wall that you can’t penetrate easily, but still… that doesn’t mean he is immune to every emotion. He can survive a long time without crying but there is always a doubt if he can’t resist it this present time. His dam of tears are like a ticking bomb. It can explode anytime because he doesn’t use it for a long time. And to prevent the waterfall to stream down his cheeks, he has to keep himself away from sad things. That includes the chick-flick moment. He is afraid, so afraid that the sentimental moment will make him want to shed tears, and tears are a sign of weakness. He can’t be weak. He has a big job of protecting his brother from every threat, no weakness is needed. He has to be as hard as steel to be his brother’s armor, even though he has to pretend to has an ice heart in the process. If heartless is what it takes to keep Sam alive, he will do it forever.
Dean always has his dad’s back no matter how bad of a dad John is. I think it’s kinda expected for a kid to look up at their parents that way, plus he’s the only surviving parents that Dean got. He’s just too small when he lost his mother he wished to never experience that kind of lost again, so he does everything in his power to try to help his dad from being killed. Even though his dad is throwing himself into the dangerous world of supernatural, train him to be able to take care of Sam and at the same time forced him to be skilled in using various weapons, Dean still adores him. He still defend him in front of Sam even though he’s the one who has been neglected the most.
I think Sam is a whining little brother who has been spoiled too much by Dean. He get annoyed and left home when he can’t take life as a hunter anymore and not looking at Dean who has been a hunter for all his life because of him. If Sam is not the one chosen by the Yellow-Eyed-Demon then Dean’s life will be normal. But Dean didn’t blame Sam for it. Dean is smart enough to know it is not Sam’s fault that their dad is now obsessed with hunting demons and also not blame their dad for making his living in more danger that everyone else. Sam used to get everything he wants so when he wants to get out of hunting’s life, he will get out without caring about Dean’s feeling or their dad’s wrath that surely will be thrown on Dean for backing up Sam’s choice. And in season eight Sam did that again. Sam decides that since his brother is gone so he can stop hunting and doesn’t have to find Dean. Maybe Sam thinks it’s the perfect chance to start fresh and forget hunting even though that means forget his big brother or wherever the hell he is. No, Sam doesn’t have to help Dean out because it’s big brother’s job to protect his little brother but not the little brother’s job to protect the big brother. Sam is leaving Dean stranded in the middle of nowhere where he’s happy playing normal life with himself. And he forget the big responsibility that he has. Kevin. And Dean who is being used to look out for his sibling points out how Kevin is their responsibility. I guess this is Dean’s new lesson for Sam, be the big sibling and learn to have a responsibility. Try not to be blinded by your surrounding and focus on your responsibility at your hands, don’t let it slip out of your fingers because it is something that you have to guard with your life. I guess since Sam doesn’t have a little sibling so he doesn’t know what it’s like to have responsibility over someone. The fact that Sam is the youngest make him think only for himself. Because Dean never let him worry about Dean or his dad, it makes Sam a selfish and spoiled brat.
I keep admiring Dean in his youth life. He’s so strong and responsible with the bonus of charming. He didn’t whine like Sam when they moved to another place for the third time like in season four episode thirteen. He make sure Sam get everything he need before school and tried to cheer Sam up when he’s whining so much about school. Dean tries to act cool, look at the positive side of everything, and most importantly, accept his fate. He knows he won’t be long in the school so he doesn’t bring school book. But I guess the real reason is because he tried to deny that he cares about school. Because his life require him to move a lot so he knows he will be hopeless with school anyway that he stops caring about anything school related. He just have to focus on hunting and watch Sam while in school. And in season nine episode seven, again Dean showed how great Dean is as a brother. He stole so Sam can eat, resulting him to almost get in jail that even his dad said just let him rot in jail. But Dean felt like he deserved it so he got along with it and live in Sonny’s house. Never even crossed his mind that he shouldn’t be left only with Sam in an unknown hotel in the first place. And turns out it was the best time of Dean’s life instead of hell like what his dad expected. He get to live a normal life without have to worrying about his brother’s well-being, his dad’s hunting job or watching his back all the time. Even though it’s not for long, because Dean being Dean will always choose Sam’s well-being over his happiness. He knew he will get out of hunter’s life if he stays at Sonny’s but he didn’t because Sam depends on him. He can’t be selfish and he won’t be selfish just because he wants his happiness. That’s just how Dean is.
The thing about Dean is, he’s losing hope since a long time ago. That’s why he doesn’t believe in God. That’s why he’s accepting his fate, because he has learned some time when he’s still so young that this is what he will be, nothing in the world can stop it, not even God. That’s why he chooses Sam over himself, sacrificing his life and happiness for his little brother because Dean is the one who start the hope in Sam’s heart, lit it up and make it big so Sam will life with that hope everyday. He never blow that hope and that’s why Sam still believe in God, still go to school and get good grades because he believe they will have a normal life someday, while Dean accept that his life will never be normal, not a chance. In some way, Sam is his way of feeling the normalcy. By letting Sam do as his please, let him has a lot of normalcy in his life is one of his ways of fixing himself. If he can’t have a normal life, at least helping other person have that normalcy will feel like he’s representing him…
He is how a big brother should be...
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