First Experience

Once upon a time, I was scared of the sea. When I saw little tides rolling to the shore, I always thought it would take me to the middle of the sea through the rolling. It was frightening, since I couldn’t swim at all, and the idea of being dragged to the middle of the salt water made me stay in the sand in front of the foam that washed to the side of the sea. I stared at it. I stared long and hard, contemplating the risk that I would take if I did put my feet in the water, surrendering all the weight of my body to my two feet that was drowned under the wave. Will I really be dragged to this endless water container? Will this small foamy waves pull me to the middle of the sea?

No, I guess not. It took a long time for me to convince myself that once again, my paranoia had clouded my judgment of what could and couldn’t kill me. The small wave was merely persuading me to come to the water, with its foam trying to invite me to the sea. And in the end of the day I was the one who decided if I really wanted to go the dangerous side of the wave or not.

So I put one feet to the rolling water, testing the sea before put the other once I was sure nothing will harm my feet under the water. When I looked down to my hidden feet, the sea water started to come back to the sea after being flung to the land. That was when I felt this thing. For a milliseconds my paranoia popped out to the front of my mind but as soon as it came, it’s gone, replaced by this feeling, the feeling of moving when you didn’t even move a muscle in your body. It’s as if the sand was sucked to the sea while I stood tall, unmoving even though I almost lost my balance. It’s magical, it’s thrilling. I know I was such an idiot to feel that way just by the wave, but this was a new experience for me. Not only because the pull of the water on my feet, but also the feeling of overcoming your own fear by just looking deeper than it seems.